Below is an old  post I made maybe years ago . . .  But I really think it’s one of the more interesting things I’ve written and I wanted to add it here.  Note:  This was written at least 4 years ago.  I’ve changed my ideas a little bit since then, but 85% still stands up with me.

Why don’t you settle down?

This is a question I get asked pretty frequently . . . or “Don’t you miss your family?”

I’ve been bumming around this planet for a long time.  I started when I was 15 or so, within the confines of the United States, since I didn’t have a passport.

Truth be told – I was a teenage runaway.

I moved from coast to coast, and everwhere in between, living on the streets, and surviving by my wits, and for anyone that age who might be reading this – I’m definitely not glorifying it.  Looking back, I did lots of very regrettable things, and out of my own blindness and perceived necessity at the time, did alot of things that were stupid, dangerous, and damaged my development.

But, on some level it was probably destiny.  Or a healthy mix of destiny, stupidity and random chance that led me to the life of vagrancy.

And it became a habit.

During my “adult” life, I’ve spent the past 10 years in 5 different countries – The U.S., India, Thailand, South Korea, and China.

So, when I get asked about it, as I often do, I usually answer the easiest and quickest way I can to stop the conversation – “Because it’s easier to be a foreigner in a foreign country than in the country of your birth”.

About 25% of the people “get it”, I suppose.

But the real reason is a bit deeper.

It’s also not something that I ever planned, but it’s more of something that I’ve come to realize:

Keeping yourself inside of human society but outside of the consensus reality speeds up your development, if you’re conscious about what you’re doing.

What do I mean by “consensus reality”?

I think the easiest term that is congruent would be “group think” or “the herd mentality” or something along those lines .  .  .

And let’s be honest – there is a pretty significant difference in the way that people in different cultures perceive the reality around them.  Not only cultures, but countries, locations, ethnicities, and so on.

It could be as obvious as the difference between egalitarian and Confucian social relationships, or as subtle as the difference between saying “it is a wave” and “It is being a wave”.

Imagine the 19th century British foreign officer in Sub Saharan Africa. . . He walks around, interacting with “the natives”, interacting with their consensus reality, and possibly even running around in a loin cloth for the better part of the day.

But something interesting happens right around dinner time.  He cleans up, puts on his best suit or uniform, and sits down for a very formal and ritualized “British” style dinner.

Why?  To maintain the connection to his OWN consensus reality, and not totally surrender to the group think around him. .  .

I first started noticing this stuff during the years I was living in India.

For lack of a better term, I started to BECOME Indian.  That’s not to say that I was physically changing, but I began to start thinking in similar ways, and seeing the world with a distinctly “Indian” perspective, if there is such a thing in such a diverse country.  Maybe it would be more appropriate to say I was becoming Rajasthani.

When I noticed it, I had a sort of violent, knee jerk reaction to it and retreated to the safety of my own conditioned paradigm. . .

Then, as time and other countries passed me by, I began to not only see my host country or cultures consensus reality, but began to see my own for much more of what it really “is”.  Not that it, or they or good or bad – but they just are what they are.

Wayfaring As Spiritual Excercise

So, now I’ve arrived at this point, wherein I’ve realized that by design or chance, I’ve stumbled into a very unique situation, wherein I’m not Chinese.  Not Korean.  Not Thai, Indian, Buddhist, Jain, Hindu, Sihk, Muslim, or whatever.

I’m also certain that I’m not “American” any more, either . . .

Most people who live for long periods outside of their own country or culture talk about “culture shock”.

There is, however a very real situation of “Re-entry shock” as well.  This occurs when you return to your own country or culture, and realize that you are so utterly and completely out of step with the consensus reality that you are effectively a foreigner in your own home.

Zhuang Zi talked about Wayfaring, or “Free and easy wandering” . . . Academically, most people usually understand that as wandering beyond the boundaries of conditioned thought.

Practically, it can be taken literally – walking around.  Going on walk about.

I think that in my case, after the last decade abroad, and 20 years of rootlessness, that it’s a bit of both;

To be free of conditioned thought, you have to first be able to perceive it.

To perceive it, you probably have to perceive it in other people first.

Then, you can look inward at yourself, and realize – at least on some small scale the extent to which the consensus reality has influenced your perception of “true” reality.

. . . And then you can really get to work . . .